


07/30. (that day)

by jangjoos



Category: Golden Child (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Background Relationships, Groundhog Day, Implied Bojan, It sounds so messy omg, Light Angst, M/M, Slice of Life, like baetag and daeyoon and bongbeom and dongchan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-11
Updated: 2018-07-11
Packaged: 2019-06-09 01:00:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15255936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jangjoos/pseuds/jangjoos
Summary: in which lee jangjun can't seem to escape the thirtieth of july. he relives that day over and over again- quite literally, in fact.





	07/30. (that day)

Jangjun woke up to the sound of something falling off his desk, something plummeting to the floor with a loud, unceremonious crash. Not so long after, his alarm blared. He groaned, shifted, rolled to his side and opened his eyes. This time, instead of a familiar gaze, instead of a soothing presence, the other side of the bed was empty. There was too much room now, much more than he was used to.

He sat up and picked up his phone, swiping the alarm into silence. With a quick scan across the bedroom, he spotted his backpack on the ground, its contents spilled onto the floor.

“Can't you stay put?” Jangjun grumbled, climbing out of bed.

His morning was rather typical. Brush teeth, shower, get dressed, pour cereal, cry because there's no milk left, cry while eating dry cereal, cry some more for ‘no specific reason’, leave for work before his roommate wakes up for morning classes. Perhaps he had purposely set his alarm early today as to avoid Youngtaek entirely. Okay, maybe not _that_ typical, but that's beside the point.

Jangjun ran into Sungyoon on the train, as was what so often happened. Sungyoon said hi to him, but there was something so sickeningly sympathetic about his voice, something so unusually gentle about his tone, as if he were afraid that he could break Jangjun by merely speaking out of turn.

“What’s up?” Sungyoon asked, eyeing him warily from head to toe.

“Oh, nothing much, hyung. Just, you know, dying inside,” Jangjun joked, before realizing too late that it wasn't all that funny.

Sungyoon seemed to hesitate for a moment at that.

“You know, Jangjun, if you ever need anyone to talk to-”

The train stopped.

“Well, would you look at that,” Jangjun interrupted him hurriedly. “It's my stop. Dammit! Good talk, hyung. Happy early birthday, by the way. Toodles!”

“Alright,” Sungyoon replied, shaking his head. “I'll see you at Daeyeol's tonight.”

He rather thought that he had never stepped off a train so quickly in his life.

\---

There was something of comfort in the mundane, something almost hypnotic about taking orders and handling cash in such a state. Jaeseok, perhaps sensing Jangjun’s unease, took over most of the work and let him man the register for the day. Jibeom came along late into the morning, frowning while he ordered his usual drink.

“Anything wrong, hyung?” He inquired, drumming his fingers on the countertop.

Jangjun smiled as widely and brightly as he could. “Nothing. Everything's peachy.”

Jibeom simply shrugged and opted to change the subject, not one to pry. “How's Joochan? I haven't seen him in a while.”

He felt something lurch in his chest. “Ah, um…”

An unreadable expression flickered on Jibeom's face. “I see. I'm sorry.”

He then took his Americano and left the counter to join his boyfriend, Jaehyun, at a nearby table, the latter who appeared annoyed for having been kept waiting for so long. Jangjun’s heart creaked and yearned as he was made to watch the two of them squabble. From the other side of the counter,  Jaeseok stared at him rather piteously.

\---

Jangjun had lunch at a nearby fast food restaurant, ate alone while scrolling through his feed. He took his time at first, but when a certain Hong Joochan entered the restaurant and approached the counter, he made a point to shove the last of his food into his mouth and book it the hell out of there.

The train ride was relatively quiet, the people silent as they rode the line home. Thankfully, there were no awkward encounters on the train; however, as soon as he reached the dorm and opened the door, he found Youngtaek poised expectantly in the foyer, arms crossed and gaze stern.

Jangjun hesitated. “How long have you been standing there?”

“Some time.” He admitted. “Not the point. Jangjun-hyung, you can't keep going on like this.”

“And why not? I'm fine, Taek-” Jangjun retorted, attempting to walk past him.

Youngtaek grabbed his shoulder, but Jangjun was stronger. He shook the younger’s hand off with ease.

“I was up early this morning,” Youngtaek said, and Jangjun stopped. “I've never heard you cry so hard, hyung. You're not fine.”

“You don't know that.” Jangjun felt his voice grow cold, chilling his own throat as he spoke. “You don't know me.”

Youngtaek dropped it, then, let him trudge by.

“I know you better than you think,” he muttered to himself, so quietly that Jangjun barely heard. But Jangjun heard, paused to take a deep breath before slamming the door to his room.

\---

Sungyoon and Joochan had originally wanted to have a joint birthday party, reasoning that it would be less trouble for all of them. However, Daeyeol wouldn't stand for it, insisted on throwing his fiancé his own party the day before. So, that's what they did. For Jangjun, it was better this way. It meant that he didn't have to go to Joochan's tomorrow.

But Joochan was here, anyway. Jangjun saw him earlier, chatting with Donghyun, Jibeom, and Jaehyun. It was nice that he finally had a chance to catch up with Jibeom.

The four of them hadn't yet split, still cracking inside jokes and laughing so hard the entire floor trembled. And, of course, there was no joining them. Jangjun looked around. He could, perhaps, tag along with Seungmin, but Seungmin was sitting with Youngtaek in the living room, and they were blushing and giggling as they conversed. Likely flirting. So there was no joining them, either. For once in his life, being at a social event made Jangjun feel sick to his stomach. Maybe he could join Sungyoon, Daeyeol, and Jaeseok in the kitchen, but-

“Hyung?”

Jangjun whipped his head around, then grinned. “Bomin! It's good to see you here.”

“You too! Hello!” Bomin's smile was so radiant that it held a degree of physical force, that it knocked all the breath out of him. “How've you been, hyung?”

“Well, that's a complicated question,” Jangjun admitted. “But alright. What about you, kid? How's school?”

Bomin sighed. “Difficult. You know, senior year and all that.” His mouth creased a bit, lowered his voice as he went on. “I heard about you and Joochan. I'm sorry.”

Jangjun clenched his fists, trained his eyes on the floor. “I'm sorry about you and Donghyun.”

“Yeah,” Bomin mumbled, looking away sadly. “That was a while ago, though. It's all good. We're still good friends.”

Jangjun stayed quiet, so Bomin continued. “I guess sometimes it just doesn't _work,_ huh? No matter how much we want it to.”

“Mhm.”

The rest of the night passed in a blur of alcohol, self-deprecating jokes, and concerned glances. Jangjun barely noticed when the party ended, when Youngtaek walked him home with his arm over his shoulders to keep him steady, when he crashed on his bed and fell asleep in a puddle of his own tears.

\---

Strangely enough, considering the absurd amount of alcohol he had consumed the previous night, Jangjun did not wake up to a hangover in the morning. In fact, he woke up to the sound of something falling off his desk, something plummeting to the floor with a loud, unceremonious crash. Not so long after, his alarm blared. The bed was still empty, but perhaps he expected that, this time.

He sat up and picked up his phone, swiping the alarm into silence. With a quick scan across the bedroom, he spotted his backpack on the ground, its contents spilled onto the floor.

“Seems like you really _can't_ stay put,” Jangjun muttered, climbing out of bed.

His morning was as typical as it could be. Brush teeth, shower, get dressed, pour cereal, cryl because he forgot to buy milk yesterday, cry while eating dry cereal, cry some more for a few specific reasons, leave for work before his roommate wakes up for morning classes. Apparently he had purposely set his alarm early again today, which was fine because it let him avoid Youngtaek entirely. Okay, maybe not _that_ typical, but that was definitely not the point.

Jangjun ran into Sungyoon on the train, as was what so often happened, and that was when he noticed that something seemed a little bit strange. Their conversation was typical. Frighteningly so, in fact.

“Alright,” Sungyoon finished. “I'll see you at Daeyeol's tonight.”

Jangjun frowned. “You mean Joochan's? I'm not going.”

Sungyoon gave him a funny look. “No, Jangjun. We're all meeting at Daeyeol's tonight.”

“But...that was yesterday, wasn't it?” Jangjun replied, confused. “It was your birthday party. Today's the thirty first.”

“It's the thirtieth,” Sungyoon shook his head. “Are you sure you're okay, Jangjun?”

“I swear!” Jangjun all but snapped. The train stopped, then, indicating the current station on a bright flashing screen. He had long missed his stop. The text on the screen switched to numbers, letters changed to display the date:

_07/30._

\---

This was some sort of nightmare, Jangjun was sure of it. Either that or a sick, elaborate joke.

Everything else happened the same way. Jaeseok's piteous stare at the counter, Jaehyun and Jibeom squabbling at their table, Joochan ordering food at the fast food place, Youngtaek standing in the foyer. Playing it safe, he said the exact same things he said yesterday as a response, did the exact same things. Manned the register next to Jaeseok, made small talk with Jibeom, avoided Joochan, fought with Youngtaek.

Then, the party, Jangjun met Bomin once again. They talked about Joochan and Donghyun, about relationships and sadness and all that. But after that, this time, Jangjun avoided alcohol entirely. Maybe the illusion, the dream will wear off if he remained sober; conversely, perhaps his friends will come clean if he made an effort to. Well, get _better._

When the party ended, Jangjun walked alongside Youngtaek back to their room together in silence. He fell asleep praying that tomorrow will no longer be typical, will no longer be the same.

\---

For the third day in a row, Jangjun woke up to the sound of something falling off his desk, something plummeting to the floor with a loud, unceremonious crash. Not so long after, his alarm blared.

He picked up his phone immediately, swiping the alarm into silence and scanning for the date.

_07/30._

“You stayed put,” Jangjun whispered in dismay.

His morning went typically, maddeningly typically. Brush teeth, shower, get dressed, pour cereal, cry because he might never taste milk again if he couldn't break out of this fuckery, cry while eating dry cereal, cry some more because he's apparently _still_ not over Joochan, leave for work before his roommate wakes up for morning classes. He no longer had control over when he set his alarm, but he was still okay with avoiding Youngtaek entirely. It was beginning to become a frightening reality for him: he might never escape this loop at this point, not ever.

\---

And the third day passed just like like the first, like the second. As did the fourth, the fifth, the sixth, the seventh. Soon, Jangjun lost count, no longer bothered to keep track of how many times he has relived the thirtieth of July thus far. There was something terribly sinister in the mundane, something truly twisted about consistency and _sameness_ , a hopelessness that manifested itself in the way certain events unfold.  

A few days later, yet somehow on the same day, Jangjun ran into Sungyoon on the train, as was what so often happened.

“What's up?” Sungyoon asked, eyeing him warily from head to toe.

The city passed in a homogenous blur of motion. It disappeared when the train entered a tunnel, a brief nighttime fell hush upon their compartment.

Jangjun said nothing for a moment, then sighed. “Hyung, do you think Joochan hates me?”

Sungyoon frowned, taken aback. “Hate you? Why would he?”

“It's just…” Jangjun paused. “I don't know. It wasn't a. Clean breakup, you see. I think he's the type to hold grudges.”

“I…Hm,” Sungyoon replied, thinking. The train went over a bump, the entire vehicle shook a little. Light surrounded them once more as they broke through the surface once again, as the train left the tunnel.

“Jangjun, I don't think Joochan can hate you even if he tried. I don't think anyone can.”

Jangjun looked outside vacantly, then closed his fist. “I see. Thank you so much, hyung.”

The corners of Sungyoon's lips edged towards the sky. “No, thank _you_ , Jangjun. Thank you for telling me this. I'll always be here for you, you know?”

\---

“So, hyung,” Jibeom ventured, tapping his fingers on the counter as he waited for his drink. “How’s it going?”

Jangjun blinked, snapping out of his thoughts. “Oh. I’m good. Everything’s peachy.”

Jibeom nodded. Casually, not hesitantly. “Cool.” A comfortable stretch of quiet passed between them.

When he then took his Americano and left the counter to join Jaehyun, Jangjun couldn’t help but notice how his heart didn’t hurt as much as it had, seeing the two of them together. In fact, Jaehyun and Jibeom made a sickeningly sweet couple; they were indubitably cute and so very innocent. This time around, he couldn't help but notice how although they always squabbled, their love couldn't be more pure and true.

Jaeseok shot him a look from across the counter, but it was approving rather than piteous. Jaeseok was kind, and almost frighteningly skilled at his job. Any drink made by Park Jaeseok is said to be able to warm the coldest of hearts, even if said drink were, say, an iced Americano. Park Jaeseok can conjure warmth and love out of even the coldest substances that exist.

Although everything supposedly went the exact same way as it had, although the day's events were exactly the same as yesterday's, as that of the day before, Jangjun thought that there was something rather special about today's shift.

Perhaps sometimes, a person must live a moment twice, three times, a thousand times before finally gaining the ability to truly appreciate it.

\---

At the fast food place, Jangjun made a point to stay where he was when he spotted Joochan in line. Sure enough, Joochan soon looked in his direction, and for the first time in what felt like forever, the two of them made eye contact.

Joochan, however, decidedly looked away, ordered his food, and seemingly booked it the hell out of there as quickly as he possibly could.

\---

“Bomin, can I ask you something?”

Bomin thought for a moment, then shrugged. “Sure, hyung.”

The music was loud, bass seeping through every inch of the apartment. Joochan, as he had each time before, was chatting with Jibeom, Jaehyun, and Donghyun in the hallway. Youngtaek, as he had each time before, was sitting with Seungmin in the living room. Sungyoon, as he had each time before, was presumably drinking with Jaeseok and Daeyeol in the kitchen.

Jangjun took a deep breath. “So. You and Donghyun.”

“We broke up a while ago.”

“I heard.”

Bomin pursed his lips. “It's all good. We're still good friends. So, what about us?”

“Yes. That. How-” Jangjun paused. “How is it...All good? How did you make it good again?”

“That’s a complicated question,” Bomin admitted.

Jangjun lowered his voice as he went on. “Bomin, do you think Joochan and I could ever be _good_ again?”

Bomin idly glanced towards the hallway. Towards where Donghyun and Joochan ostensibly stood. From here, they were out of sight, but Donghyun’s laughs could still be heard, and Joochan’s lingering pain could perhaps still be felt. “As before? Probably not. Not for a very, very long time, anyway.”

Jangjun smiled, if not a bit sardonically as he repeated Bomin’s words. “I guess sometimes it just doesn’t _work,_ no matter how much we want it to.”

The rest of the night passed in a blur of alcohol, self-deprecating jokes, and concerned glances. Jangjun barely noticed when the party ended, when Youngtaek walked him home with his arm over his shoulders to keep him steady, when he crashed on his bed and fell asleep in a puddle of his own tears.

\---

Jangjun made many attempts to speak with Joochan in the days that followed. Sometimes Joochan would simply ignore him, other times he would merely regard him with faint annoyance, even hatred. There was one day where Joochan seemed almost willing to listen, willing to sympathize, but Jangjun had somehow managed to screw that up.

Perhaps he had, in fact, somehow been screwing up each and every time they talked.

Meanwhile, Jangjun continued to live the thirtieth of July over and over again, but he has been trying to make the best of his situation. He can now safely say that he learned how to play the guitar, the trumpet, and the kazoo, how to bake a pie cake and how to cook the perfect steak, all in the span of a single day. None of that served to ease the persisting emptiness inside of him; however, over time, he found that he was beginning to return to himself again.

The next day was the fourteenth day. Or was it the fifteenth? Jangjun wasn’t quite sure. He decided to stay home for the day, told Youngtaek that he was sick or something. Youngtaek, clever boy, didn’t seem convinced, but he’d left without a word, anyway. So Jangjun was sitting on the couch, catching up with a drama he’s been wanting to watch, although he barely paid the television any heed. Too busy thinking.

Time heals all wounds, but Jangjun has been given many, many days to heal. Joochan, in contrast, has been given none. While Jangjun has lived day after day, while time was plentiful to him, that wasn’t the case for Joochan. While Jangjun’s wounds have just about closed, Joochan’s were still fresh and bleeding.

But, regardless, Jangjun wanted to reconcile with Joochan, wanted to make things right for them again- even if it happened in but a single timeline out of thousands.

\---

"Wait," Jangjun called out to him.

Joochan turned around, a bit alarmed, a bit annoyed. "What."

Everyone in the restaurant turned their heads, then. Everyone in line, everyone eating at their tables. It felt like they had an audience, like this was some sort of drama.

"Joochan, I think we should talk."

Joochan's eyes flashed dangerously, and quite honestly, Jangjun couldn't blame the boy.

"There's nothing to talk about, hyung." He inhaled, then exhaled. "Not anymore."

"There's plenty," Jangjun replied as gently as he could.

Joochan huffed, made an attempt to move past him, but Jangjun stopped him by grabbing his shoulder.

"Hyung, let me go."

"Please, Jooch-"

In the end, Joochan managed to shake Jangjun's hand off with some effort. He stormed out of the restaurant and slammed the door behind him, leaving Jangjun alone with his thoughts and internal turmoil, alone with the several eyes that continued to stare in his direction.

\---

"Hello."

Jaehyun and Jibeom turned around. Donghyun glanced at Joochan, then smiled awkwardly. Joochan glared.

Jangjun gave them a feeble wave.

"Hi, hyung," Jibeom greeted, shifting a bit to make room for him.

"What do you want," Joochan demanded flatly.

Donghyun moved to the side, whispered something into his ear. That seemed to calm Joochan a bit, his shoulders relaxing, if only slightly. From the other end of the hallway, Jangjun caught Bomin's eye, and he made a point to nod at him. The lights were flashing, the music was loud, and the party was yet in full swing.

Rather miraculously, Jangjun soon managed to convince Joochan to talk with him in private.

"Joochan, do you remember the way things were before?" Jangjun asked quietly, easing the door shut behind him.

Joochan hesitated. "If this is about getting back together, I already said-"

"No. Not that, I swear," Jangjun assured him. "I mean. Before all that. A simpler time."

"Nothing between us was ever _simple_ , hyung." Joochan's words dripped with venom, but he was evidently beginning to soften somewhat.

Jangjun's breath caught in his throat. That was a point. First they had gone in circles, then they met briefly in a short yet passionate burst. Things phased out, and that brought them to the beginning of this mess. One can, perhaps, say that it was over long before it even began.

"I know, Jooch." Jangjun said slowly, sadly. "It was never going to work. We'll never _work_. But-" he sighed, pausing for but a moment.

"What if everything can be like before? What if we can be _good_ again?"

Joochan seemed to think about this. He closed his eyes.

"I miss you, Jangjun. I truly do."

After the party ended, although he did not yet know why, Jangjun stopped by a supermarket that opened late on the way home. He picked up a gallon of milk- you know, for cereal; and a small birthday gift for Joochan.

By the time he arrived at the dorm that night, it was already long past midnight.

\---

And for the first time in forever, Jangjun woke up to the sound of his alarm. He didn't hear anything fall off his desk, plummet to the ground with any loud, unceremonious crash. He picked up his phone immediately, swiping the alarm into silence and checking for the date.

07/31.

\---

Weeks passed. And actual weeks, too, not weeks worth of time spent reliving the same day. Jangjun sat at a table alone while strolling through his feed- well, alone for the time being.  
  
A certain Hong Joochan entered the cafe, spotted Jangjun, and approached. Jangjun quickly handed him the smoothie he'd bought for him earlier.  
  
"Hyung, you really didn't have to," Joochan said shyly, taking a seat across from Jangjun.  
  
Jangjun grinned. "I wanted to. My treat."

Silence could often be awkward, but between them it was alright. They simply sat, enjoyed each other's presence, breathed the same air for a while.

"How have you been?" Jangjun suddenly asked. "Anything interesting happen lately?"

Joochan straightened himself. "Oh. Interesting? Yeah, actually. So, Donghyun, right?"

Jangjun leaned in attentively. "What about Donghyun?"

"Donghyun. Well." Joochan blushed a little, and Jangjun had to repress the overwhelming urge to squish his cheeks. "You see, I have a date with him. Later today, in fact."

"A date!" Jangjun exclaimed. He then sipped his drink, waggling his eyebrows. "So, a friend-date...or a date-date?"

"Hyung!" Joochan looked away, flustered, and Jangjun had his answer.

He laughed. "Seriously, though. Congratulations." He took Joochan's hand over the table, squeezed it gently.

"I'm so happy for you."

"What about you, hyung? Anyone special in mind?" Joochan quipped, only half-teasing.

"I guess." Jangjun closed his eyes and briefly thought about Bomin, about the kid's blinding smile, about their late night texts and weekly hangouts. "It's still too early to say."

Joochan nodded, his lips quirked knowingly for a second before swiftly transitioning into a smile, a pure smile, a genuine smile; the first one Jangjun's seen from him for a long time. And in that moment, everything finally felt okay again, finally felt normal again. _Typical_.

**Author's Note:**

> finally wrote something for joojun! yeah it was always weird that im jangjoo but like. i never actually. wrote for that ship oops
> 
> so im back and writing cryptic sad stuff again lol thanks for reading this absolute blazing mess of a fic. 
> 
> actually but this one is. genuinely a mess. im so sorry. hmu on twitter @bojooch!


End file.
